Jenna's Adventures

So, I haven't posted in a while. Mostly because there has been nothing to post about, but also because I was feeling discouraged about exchange. I talked to my parents in August, and they got pretty mad because they said we could not afford it, too long, etc.

However, I was not going to let that stop me! I set up a meeting with my parents, me, and the outbound co-chair, Bill. We met at the library to discuss Rotary Youth Exchange! While I basically had to drag my parents to the meeting, I was so happy they came.

We talked about the benefits of the program and why they should let me apply. Bill said I was very passionate about doing exchange, and I think that got the wheels turning in my parents' heads. Also, there are two twins on exchange from my district, and he made a joke about how that mom has to deal with two children gone for a year, while my parents only have to deal with one. That is my parents' major concern: the year. However, I KNOW they will say yes, because I will keep asking them until they do.

Anyway, I got invited to the first overnighter! It is like two hours away, but there is a RYE student in my chemistry class, so I will ask if she is going and maybe she can give me a ride. It sounds like so much fun! It is at a high school; when we get there we have lunch, and then we go to a Swiss Festival!!! The inbounds are marching in a parade. I don't know if there will be any other outbounds there.. but I hope, so I can meet them! After the parade, we have free time to walk around the festival. Then we go back to the school, the inbounds have a meeting, and we play volleyball/basketball and goof around in the gym (and stay up all night)! I am really excited; it is on the 29th, so I am sure I will have a post right after that.

Well, I have not gotten the official YESSSSSSS that I want, but.. I am confident it will come soon!

I should be in Korea right now. It should be 10:30 AM, not 8:30 PM. I should have already woken up on August 8, 2012, gotten a shower, and should have eaten a unique Asian breakfast. I should doing something incredible today, like walking around Seoul or going to the DMZ, bordering North and South Korea. I should be learning Korean and experiencing a foreign country for the first time in my life.

But I am not.

I should have applied for the CIEE South Korea Scholarship. I should have not backed down when my parents said no and I should have applied. But I did not. And I have no idea why. I regret not applying so badly and I would give anything for it to be April again so I could fill out the application. Even if I did not get accepted, I should have applied because I wouldn't lose anything by trying.

Is this what I will feel if I never apply for a high school program? Will I look at pictures of people on exchange and feel this same regret I feel now? I don't think I can take that. It hurts, knowing I could be having an amazing experience but did not even get the chance to try.

I try to live without regrets. THAT is why I want to do exchange. But how can I live without regrets if my parents are not allowing me to go for what I want and live my dreams? I never knew, when I decided I could not apply, that I would feel so regretful. That I would be so angry at myself for not applying. But should I feel angry at myself, if it was my parents who told me no?

I just NEED to do this. I am not like my siblings or any of my friends. I have a sense of adventure that cannot wait, and having it be shot down so many times is taking a toll on me. In a way, it makes me upset, being practically laughed at by my parents and siblings as they tell me it will never happen. On the other hand, it makes me stronger, knowing I can prove them wrong and do the one thing I want to do.

I just.. I don't know what to think. I already have a travel regret and it is for a TWO WEEK program. What kind of regret will I have if I am never able to do a longer exchange program? If I am not even given the chance to apply?

   Don't let anyone stop you from following your dreams.

   From a young age, I have been exposed to different languages. From being at my best friend's house and hearing Croatian to listening to Italian at family parties, I had an understanding of different languages. Knowing only English, I was jealous of my best friend as she spoke Croatian with her family. I wanted to be able to speak in a different tongue like her.
   I have tried many methods and many languages. From Japanese to Italian to French to Greek, I tried a variety of online programs and textbooks. I still think the best way to learn a language, other than immersion of course, is through a class. I take Italian at school and learn a lot. Lately, however, I have been interested in Brazilian Portuguese. Being that I cannot take this class at school and that I am too cheap to buy a $20 workbook (and way too cheap to buy $500 Rosetta Stone!), I found Mango Languages, available free through my library. It is great!
   First of all, there are over 40 languages! Want to 
learn Dari, Biblical Hebrew, Pirate? No problem! I was literally so excited when I saw this. Being a language nerd, it was like Christmas for me. (Well, maybe not quite.. but you get the point.)
   I clicked on Brazilian Portuguese. There are three courses available: Basic, Complete 1.0, and Complete 2.0. I think they start of the same, but the Complete programs obviously go further with the language.
   It starts off with a conversation between two people. You probably will not understand anything in the conversation, although it provides a translation. The point of the lessons are to understand the conversation at the beginning.

Mango Languages works with flashcards. I have tried making flashcards on my own, but it is a pain and buying flashcards constantly adds up. Having digital flashcards is an effective way to memorize words and phrases. First, you see both the word in English and Portuguese. Next, the word appears in English and you turn the card over to see the Portuguese. The flashcards repeat often, providing easy memorization.The voice is nice, but one complaint would be that it is mostly a male voice. I prefer having a mix of voices. There are many different chapters, each with five lessons and a quiz.
   For anyone who wants to try Mango Languages, check your local library's website. While my library has Mango, yours may not. If they do not, you will have to buy the program, but it is at a more affordable price than some programs. Mango Languages is also available in the App store. I have been very pleased with Mango Languages so far, and plan to use it while I go on exchange. As I learned it Portuguese, Tchau!

   One of the hardest things about exchange is choosing where you want to go. Do you want somewhere hot? Cold? A large country? Rich? Poor? Mix that in with concerns about the language, and choosing your country becomes a huge ordeal.

I am Jenna and I want to be an exchange student. I am Jenna and I want to be an exchange student. I am Jenna and I want to be an exchange student. I am Jenna and I want to be an exchange student.

I will keep telling myself this over and over. I will not let myself down by what others say. I will not give up. I will not listen until I get my way. I know what I want. I will get what I want.

I want to travel. I need to travel. There is an itch inside me and it won't stop until I travel. I need to see what's out there. I need to stand apart. I need to do the thing I must do.

I need to be an exchange student.